Can you turn on the light,
please?

Me:  *during sex* ....i think i hear someone coming....
girl:  ....who?
me:  MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *bust nut*

baracknobama:

dont you hate it when you put toothpaste on your toothbrush but then it just falls right off like wtf toothpaste do your job

"hey since you’re up can u-"

*sits down*

(Source: rapniall)